A Delicate Dance

This time of year we are bombarded with so many messages that encourage us to change this or that about ourselves. For many, this time of year also marks an annual ritual in which they examine their lives, at least for a moment, and begin to think through all the things they want to bring forth into their lives through intention and goal setting.

As yogis we enter this territory with a delicate balance of acceptance and transformation. What I have learned the hard way throughout my life is that unless this dance is approached with an attitude of friendliness towards "what is" about life in this moment (which includes my body, emotions, practice, etc) then a subtle, or sometimes even not so subtle form of aggression can take root, which in turn can impede any true or deep transformation at all.

So many of us, myself included, begin practices such as intention or goal setting with the premise that we are not good enough as we are in this moment, and so change is necessary to correct deficiencies within ourselves. When we do this, I think we create harm to ourselves. I also truly believe, because I have experienced this time and again, that even if we accomplish the goal we set out to, there will still remain a part of ourselves that still won't accept and love the self we have just created. There will remain an uneasiness, an undercurrent of discontent, that will still seek more ways to change even this version of ourselves because it's still not quite good enough. In that space of not "enoughness" we fall prey to others views and messages of all the ways we are not enough--but could be if we just follow their 10 easy steps to (fill in the blank).

If we approach our practice from a place of loving-kindness, which would mean developing an attitude of friendliness to all that we are in this moment, then our aggression moving forward would lessen. A shift in perception can go a long way in creating a powerful practice, a delicate dance between opening up to all that we are in this moment with joy, acceptance, and "enoughness" in partnership with revealing more beauty, fullness, and radiance of who we are.

Borrowing language from my social work background, I would call this a strengths-based approach to practice. So rather than beginning with what you think you don't have--tap into all that you do. While I am sure all of us think that we could be stronger, more flexible, this or that, it's also true that those elements already exist in abundance within you. The delicate dance we engage in then begins by opening up to the gifts, treasures, and power within you. Noticing all that is good, right, and true within and coming from that place first. Tapping into your strengths shifts everything. Then rather than trying to change yourself because you are not enough, you practice to reveal more of who you are.

May your practice reveal all that is wonderful about you!

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
― Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You!