Being Fixed

As I have continued my journey in my conflict resolution class I can't help but draw parallels with my yoga practice. One issue that I have been mentally chewing on is the idea of being fixed in my positions and beliefs and the ways in which it limits my ability to have new insights and experiences.

I have been bringing a new level of awareness into my conversations with others and noticing the ways in which my fixed ideas of right/wrong, should/shouldn't come out and the ways in which it impacts the quality of the conversation or interaction. I notice when others back down when fixed positions shine through me, or when others present or react with their own fixedness, and the ways in which dialog shifts to debate or silence when fixedness emerges.

I notice my fixed qualities in yoga when I take another teacher's class, attend a workshop, read a yoga book or article and the thoughts pop up--"well that's not true", or "that isn't good sequencing" or the best one "that's not how I would have said it, or done it". Does that sound familiar to you? What ways does fixedness emerge within your own yoga practice or teaching? Has your fixedness ever prevented you from trying a new technique of coming into a pose? Have you ever tightened up more in a pose in resistance to a teacher's adjustment? Have you as a teacher forced a student into a shape (outside of safety reasons) because you had a fixed idea of what they should look like or be capable of? Have you ever found yourself saying things like "Well the correct way to do this is..."

I'm not saying that there are no "right" or "wrongs" in yoga. And it's true as well that all of us have accumulated years of personal experience of what works well for our body too. There is however plenty that falls outside of the realm of "right/wrong" in which all of us fall into the fixedness trap. For example, ask any yoga teacher how to practice Triangle pose, when to practice inversions in the practice, which pranayama practices are OK for beginners, what should be taught to beginners, should music be played during class, should Sanskrit even be used unless you can pronounce it correctly, etc..

All of those issue are ones that have been talked about and debated in many circles and even in many conversations I have had with teachers, students, and others. Notice how when you read that your own positions came up. Did any of them feel tight, hot, fixed? I know my fixedness sure came up.

As I was thinking about all of this and about how fixedness prevents us from new experiences, new ways and opportunities of interacting with others and our practice, I was reminded of a teaching from Buddhism described clearly by Pema Chodron.

She writes "When you see the Buddha, kill the Buddha" which means that when you see that you're clinging or grasping to anything, whether conventionally it's called good or bad, make friends with that. Look into it. Get to know it completely and utterly. In that way it will let go of itself.

She then shares a story to illustrate the conflict that ensue when we become fixed in our positions: There was a god who knew how men and women love to believe things to be true and make clubs and religions and political systems with the people who agree with them. They just love to make something out of nothing and then write its name on a big banner and march down the street waving it and yelling and screaming, only to have people who believe the opposite come toward them with their banner, yelling and screaming. This god decided to try to prove a point about the human condition so that people might, in seeing the absurdity of it, have a good laugh. (A good laugh is the best way to kill the Buddha.) He constructed a big hat divided right down the middle, the left side of which was brilliant blue and the right side flaming red. Then he went to a place where many people were working in the fields on the left side of a road and many other people were working in the fields on the right side of the road. There the god manifested in all his glory; no one could miss him. Big and radiant, wearing his hat, he walked straight down the road. All the people on the right side of the road dropped their hoes and looked up at this god; all the people on the left side of the road did the same. Everybody was amazed. Then he disappeared. Everyone shouted, "We saw God! We saw God!" They were all full of joy, until someone on the left said, "There he was in all his radiance and in his red hat!" And people on the right said, "No, he had on a blue hat." This disagreement escalated until the people built walls and began to throw stones at each other. Then the god appeared again. This time he walked in the other direction and then disappeared. Now all the people looked at each other and the ones on the right said, "Ah, you were right, he did have on a red hat. We're so sorry, we just saw incorrectly. You were right and we were wrong." The ones on the other side said, "No, no. You were right. We were wrong." At this point they didn't know whether to fight or to make friends. Most of them were completely puzzled by the situation. Then the god appeared again. This time he stood in the middle and he turned to the left and then he turned around to the right, and everyone started to laugh.

This week, notice which practices you cling to, the ways in which you're fixed, and the ways in which the beliefs you cling to prevent you from opening up to something new, whether it be a relationship, pose, experience, or an idea. Ask yourself when you notice this quality of fixedness, in what ways has it served you in the past, or currently, and in what ways has it held you back? Also, when you are locked in a conversation with another in which their fixed position has either triggered silence or aggression within you, pause and remember the insights from your own questioning process and have compassion for them too. Remember anytime we are fixed, unless we examine it with compassion or spaciousness, we will tighten our grip on that issue even more--same can be true with others as well.

I'll leave you with a quote that can help your inquiry process this week:

‎"The bad news is you're falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there's no ground." - Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Have a wonderful week!