I'm currently taking an online class in conflict resolution from the Australian based Conflict Resolution Network. In one of the first class modules I worked on, the concept of Fight, Flight, and Flow was introduced as a model for how many of us respond to conflicts within our lives.
I was struck by how much the model resonated with me not only with the conflicts that manifest in my interpersonal relationships, but also the internal conflicts that I have on the mat within my yoga practice. The model assumes that in any given situation in which conflict arises we are faced with how we will respond (better yet, will we react, or respond). Our options are to either escalate the conflict by engaging in fight mode, which invites aggression and resistance into the conflict. We can also react with a flight response, which means we don't engage with the conflict at all inviting passivity and apathy into the conflict. The third way, or response, which invites creativity into the conflict is flow. Flow is the approach in which we shift our mindset from "Ugh, another conflict, not this again" to "Ah, conflict, what an opportunity!"
For me I pondered how this plays out within my own practice when challenges come my way--how do I respond, with fight, flight, or flow? I took time to explore what each of these could look like and encourage you to explore the ways in which you fight, flight, or flow within your own practice too.
Fight mode in practice is when we let aggression take over. It can begin when we start to enter into poses we know we are not ready for, simply because we're trying to prove we can even when we know the modification would be better for where we are in the moment. It can be forcing our body to do things too early, or when we're too tired in the practice. It can also be the "should" voice in which rather than deeply listening to the rhythm within, we "should" on ourselves and do things in our practice that aren't truly good for us in the moment. For me, it's also inflaming the voices in my head that I call the "I suck" mode--the voice that says that anything I do is not good enough and which seeks perfection rather than opening up to and accepting "what is" about this moment. What are some of the other ways fight mode can manifest?
Flight mode manifests as the resistance to doing poses we don't "like" and not putting our fullest into co-creation with the breath and pose. It happens when we stop paying attention to our breath and focus on trivial things (like in pigeon pose playing with your toes rather than being in the experience of the pose). It's the convenient excuse to go to the restroom when practice hits an important peak, or when you are asked to try something new, or something you find challenging. What are ways that flight has manifested for you in your practice?
Flow mode is that space of bravery, of being willing to come face to face with the challenge and engage with it in a co-creative dance. It's the response, "oh this again, how fascinating." It's the spark of curiosity that opens up pathways of connection and beauty in practice. It's a state of being open and the willingness to be opened. What ways has flow manifested for you?
Thinking about all the ways to respond to challenges in your practice, do you notice any patterns for yourself? For me, I am reminded of the quote from A Course in Miracles which says a miracle is just a shift in perception. To enter flow mode all that has to change is our thoughts about the situation. The shift from, "oh this again" to "Oh! This again, what an opportunity" is huge.
Blessings to all of you!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
It's always there.
Rolling out my yoga mat has taken on new significance for me this week. I have been wonderfully reminded every morning as I have practiced that no matter how we change or what we have been through, the practice is always there ready to engage with us in co-creative partnership.
What a relief to have this experience, or remembering, after what felt like a long, and quite frankly, lonely exile from a relationship that had meant so much to me over the years. For the last few years, as I exited my role as a yoga teacher, my own physical yoga practice had changed quite dramatically. What was once a tool for deep and profound physical, mental, and spiritual exploration had become over the last two years a symbol of what my life once was. Every time I practiced, it was tinged with complex feelings that kept me wrapped up in the head and far removed from my heart. I had built up quite a challenging relationship with my practice and with my identification with the larger yoga community. My asana practice had become spotty and irregular, and when it had occurred I did not bring to it the same enthusiasm I once had. I was stuck in an old way of being and not quite ready to move on, and not sure even what that meant.
Additionally, having moved around so much in the last six years I had cultivated and created many wonderful relationships with several yoga communities. I made many friends, taught alongside many great and inspiring teachers, and had several incredible heart opening connections with students. One blessing from all of that is that anytime I need to be reminded of the ONE, I reflect on all of those whose lives touched mine, and whose lives I was lucky to touch. That being said, all that moving also prevented me from having long lasting and deeply rooted connections anywhere, and by the time I had moved to Portland and was no longer teaching, I had no physical sangha (community) with which I could connect with during this time of transition.
I found myself in an awkward place. Practice and engagement with yoga had lost the meaning I once had for it. What a crises. Initially I responded to the crises with indifference, and then resentment, and then eventually acceptance. I finally came to a place where I was ok with where I was both with my practice (which was spotty) and with my relationship with the larger yoga community (absent)...or so I thought....
It was clear to me, more than two years ago, that I was quickly becoming burned out from teaching and that my body was revolting from the practice as I had been executing it. I had become psychologically and emotionally drained and rather than take a break and regroup--I kept pushing the limits and one day stopped doing everything. A wall was created that I could no longer climb over.
For those who have followed this blog in the past, or who don't know my story, a short synopsis is that after five years of teaching yoga I stopped to go back into social work. For some reason I felt as if I was not doing enough to bring peace to the world, or to address social injustices. I felt that I could, and had to do more. What I have come to discover is that it was a false choice. I don't regret my decision fully, because I certainly learned so much from my time being back in the social work arena. Never had I been tested in all my life to deeply explore the values that I claimed to live by. I had to learn forgiveness, nonviolence, compassion, resiliency, and accountability in ways that I never could through the path I was on. I had to apply those principles in complex, confusing, and heart-breaking situations both with myself and with others. I am certainly a more awake and aware and better human being for the experience, but it's only in the last few months that I have come to see it that way.
For the first time in more than two years there is a bubbling forth of creative life affirming energy inside me. There is a growing yes where for so long there was a no. I don't think I am quite out of my cocoon quite yet, and I am not even sure what is waiting to fly out once free, but I do feel the spark and at last I am ready to co-create again. I can't wait to share some the plans I have for new projects once they are more fully developed.
What I can say for now is how amazing it is that we have this ancient, time tested practice that is always there for us, ready to meet us where we are, should we choose to enter into conscious relationship with it. As I roll out my mat this week, it is with more reverence, excitement, gratitude, and humbleness of the many gifts it has given to me and the gifts it has allowed me to provide to others.
The practice is always there for us, no matter what, and if we allow it to, it will change us too.
In gratitude always,
Michael
What a relief to have this experience, or remembering, after what felt like a long, and quite frankly, lonely exile from a relationship that had meant so much to me over the years. For the last few years, as I exited my role as a yoga teacher, my own physical yoga practice had changed quite dramatically. What was once a tool for deep and profound physical, mental, and spiritual exploration had become over the last two years a symbol of what my life once was. Every time I practiced, it was tinged with complex feelings that kept me wrapped up in the head and far removed from my heart. I had built up quite a challenging relationship with my practice and with my identification with the larger yoga community. My asana practice had become spotty and irregular, and when it had occurred I did not bring to it the same enthusiasm I once had. I was stuck in an old way of being and not quite ready to move on, and not sure even what that meant.
Additionally, having moved around so much in the last six years I had cultivated and created many wonderful relationships with several yoga communities. I made many friends, taught alongside many great and inspiring teachers, and had several incredible heart opening connections with students. One blessing from all of that is that anytime I need to be reminded of the ONE, I reflect on all of those whose lives touched mine, and whose lives I was lucky to touch. That being said, all that moving also prevented me from having long lasting and deeply rooted connections anywhere, and by the time I had moved to Portland and was no longer teaching, I had no physical sangha (community) with which I could connect with during this time of transition.
I found myself in an awkward place. Practice and engagement with yoga had lost the meaning I once had for it. What a crises. Initially I responded to the crises with indifference, and then resentment, and then eventually acceptance. I finally came to a place where I was ok with where I was both with my practice (which was spotty) and with my relationship with the larger yoga community (absent)...or so I thought....
It was clear to me, more than two years ago, that I was quickly becoming burned out from teaching and that my body was revolting from the practice as I had been executing it. I had become psychologically and emotionally drained and rather than take a break and regroup--I kept pushing the limits and one day stopped doing everything. A wall was created that I could no longer climb over.
For those who have followed this blog in the past, or who don't know my story, a short synopsis is that after five years of teaching yoga I stopped to go back into social work. For some reason I felt as if I was not doing enough to bring peace to the world, or to address social injustices. I felt that I could, and had to do more. What I have come to discover is that it was a false choice. I don't regret my decision fully, because I certainly learned so much from my time being back in the social work arena. Never had I been tested in all my life to deeply explore the values that I claimed to live by. I had to learn forgiveness, nonviolence, compassion, resiliency, and accountability in ways that I never could through the path I was on. I had to apply those principles in complex, confusing, and heart-breaking situations both with myself and with others. I am certainly a more awake and aware and better human being for the experience, but it's only in the last few months that I have come to see it that way.
For the first time in more than two years there is a bubbling forth of creative life affirming energy inside me. There is a growing yes where for so long there was a no. I don't think I am quite out of my cocoon quite yet, and I am not even sure what is waiting to fly out once free, but I do feel the spark and at last I am ready to co-create again. I can't wait to share some the plans I have for new projects once they are more fully developed.
What I can say for now is how amazing it is that we have this ancient, time tested practice that is always there for us, ready to meet us where we are, should we choose to enter into conscious relationship with it. As I roll out my mat this week, it is with more reverence, excitement, gratitude, and humbleness of the many gifts it has given to me and the gifts it has allowed me to provide to others.
The practice is always there for us, no matter what, and if we allow it to, it will change us too.
In gratitude always,
Michael
Saturday, January 2, 2010
2010 The Year Of Service
Many years ago I attended a service led by Marianne Williamson at the Church of Today in Warren MI, and she said, “So many of our prayers directed at God begin… ‘God look at the world and the mess it’s in — look at the violence, the hunger, the wars, the injustices, the corruption, etc... God where are you? DO SOMETHING!’ and at the same time we are shouting at God, God is saying to us ‘Kids look at the world and the mess it’s in — look at the violence, the hunger, the wars, the injustices, the corruption, etc, Kids where are you, DO SOMETHING."
While I don't think of God as a paternalistic concept, the sentiment of that story still resonates with me. I have long felt that any work we do on ourselves ultimately impacts the world because as WE change, the world changes. As we dive deeply into practices that help to mold us into more spacious and compassionate people, that compassion is hopefully spilling out into our lives and touching everyone we meet.
I understand too that we are all works-in-progress and that many of us are focused more on improving our Selves and may not have a conscious intention of being of service to our community. And perhaps that's justified somewhat, because we are healing, or we are "filling our own cup" so that eventually we DO have something to give. But I have noticed that in some spiritual and yoga communities that while a lot of the work that goes on within the walls of the centers and in the hearts of the participants is deep and profound, what happens as an extension of that work seems disconnected. It's like all the love and compassion that is being generated is being held in - experienced only by the Self - rather than radically being gifted through service to all in our communities and world.
I want to be sure to not discount some really great work that I have seen. For example I have some friends in Detroit who run a studio that is active in the peace movement and environmental sustainability and they provide many avenues for their students to get involved in that work. I also have a friend in Houston who is creating a nonprofit organization through her studio that will be helping people with cancer. And I know of a yoga organization in Portland that teaches yoga to kids living on the street as way to help them cope with the conditions they face everyday. There are some examples of this work beginning to happen in the U.S.--but it is only beginning to scratch the surface of the need for service work that exists.
I would love to see a mass movement led by yogis across the world that shifts our focus from just working on ourselves to seeking avenues with which we can work to heal our world and all who travel on it with us. Some actions that are happening now that attempt to do this are events such as the Global Mala, and fundraising activities for nonprofits such as Yoga-a-thons. However even these activities are limited in what they can do, because while they provide issue-awareness, fundraising, and a way for people to connect to a cause, my experience is that they don't always spur long-term action in the community. Perhaps organizers of such events could inspire more long term action--such as having representatives from the local peace group present to sign people up for continued action and to inform people of tangible steps they can take to make change happen now. However, I feel that what currently happens is that these types of events only serve to function as superficial actions - making us feel like we're doing something but in reality we're really just putting on a show that makes us feel good but does nothing to advance the very cause we set out to help.
If we re-frame our actions, our focus could be on choosing an issue that we can work on long-term LOCALLY (think globally, act locally). If actions like yoga-a-thon can channel people into tangible social movements for justice - then great! But if not, let's stop doing them and instead create pathways for our yoga studios and communities to advance a LOCAL cause for long-term good. Just throwing our money at an issue is not going to create the kind of deep systemic change that we need. Most of the issues of our time that we are facing off against will find our "enemies" out- funding us anyway. The one thing we DO have that can turn the tides is the potential for mass people power to fuel a local action-oriented revolution and we must begin now to find ways to channel that resource!
You may not be a part of yoga or spiritual center that already has a culture of service to the community but that doesn't mean you can't be a part of creating it. I had a teacher once who at every class brought vegan treats to share at the end of class and who shared vegan recipes with her students. She also planned service trips and events at least once a month for her students and eventually created a culture of service through her efforts. If you teach your students there is more to yoga than what is on the mat, they will learn it just like they learn how to do down dog. Remember we are all responsible for creating a new world. Peaceful and just communities don't just show up--they are built one conversation and one relationship at a time.
If you are a student and there is not a community driven focus at your studio, then ask to meet with the owner to discuss the potential to have such events. Sometimes the only thing lacking is someone willing to take on such projects. Remember too, that these things can start off small and then grow over time into much larger events and projects. I recommend just sticking to one issue at first and seeing how deep you can go with it. People want to be able to get a sense that their work is contributing to lasting change and that can be hard to offer when the energy of the group is diluted and working on multiple projects and issues.
It can become overwhelming to choose just one issue to work on - especially with the apparent mess we are in, but that is all the more reason to choose. Don't let the act of choosing paralyze you into non-action. What you put your energy into does matter. If you are meditating and doing a spiritual practice and think that is all you have to do to make the world a better place you are only working with half of the equation. I am a big fan of the AA quote "It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking then it is to think your way into a new way of acting". So no matter what our reason for action, action is in many cases the path that will take us where we need to be. And by giving of yourself in service to the world, you will find yourself in every interaction closer to the truths you have been seeking on the mat or the cushion.
I feel that the beauty of our work on the mat is that it creates the conditions for us to become powerful change agents capable of performing greater acts of compassion and love than what we could do without the knowledge and strength we have tapped into through practice. A favorite quote of mine from Albert Einstein speaks to this quite poetically: “The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.”
Not only can we bring a larger perspective to the issues of our times but we have within our tool box a practice that renews us and allows us to recharge and come back to do social change work without depleting ourselves, which too often happens. When we are depleted and burnt out the work is uninspiring and the issues at hand become too daunting.
I have many friends engaged in service who all too often get down and believe that they are not doing enough. I can only hold space and bear witness to their feelings of being overwhelmed, while providing encouragement that every little bit helps. I have a friend who runs a goat rescue (on top of her own photography business and faculty position at a community college) who has often asked if what she is doing matters and my reply was that it does to the more than 800 goats that she has provided sanctuary for. Not only have the goats benefited, but countless others whose lives have been enriched because they have volunteered with the rescue and those who have allowed a new creature into their lives. On one occasion when I was at the rescue I bore witness to one of the goats dying, a new one who had only been there for ten days. The situation felt pretty helpless and futile and brought up some of the doubts my friend had been feeling. Even in this case I argue that her efforts for that goat were worth it, for in that ten days that the goat was in her care it received more love, attention, and care than in any time of its life and that is what counts. Anything we do that extends compassion, care, and grace into the world is what takes us closer to living in a world that reflects the greatest expression of our heart's potential. Love is fuel for humanity's spiritual evolution--thankfully it is renewable and potentially available in mass quantities.
I leave you this quote by John Robbins:
My friends, as 2010 is upon us, I encourage you to dig deep within yourself and commit this year to service. I have a feeling the world is going to need all you can give!
While I don't think of God as a paternalistic concept, the sentiment of that story still resonates with me. I have long felt that any work we do on ourselves ultimately impacts the world because as WE change, the world changes. As we dive deeply into practices that help to mold us into more spacious and compassionate people, that compassion is hopefully spilling out into our lives and touching everyone we meet.
I understand too that we are all works-in-progress and that many of us are focused more on improving our Selves and may not have a conscious intention of being of service to our community. And perhaps that's justified somewhat, because we are healing, or we are "filling our own cup" so that eventually we DO have something to give. But I have noticed that in some spiritual and yoga communities that while a lot of the work that goes on within the walls of the centers and in the hearts of the participants is deep and profound, what happens as an extension of that work seems disconnected. It's like all the love and compassion that is being generated is being held in - experienced only by the Self - rather than radically being gifted through service to all in our communities and world.
I want to be sure to not discount some really great work that I have seen. For example I have some friends in Detroit who run a studio that is active in the peace movement and environmental sustainability and they provide many avenues for their students to get involved in that work. I also have a friend in Houston who is creating a nonprofit organization through her studio that will be helping people with cancer. And I know of a yoga organization in Portland that teaches yoga to kids living on the street as way to help them cope with the conditions they face everyday. There are some examples of this work beginning to happen in the U.S.--but it is only beginning to scratch the surface of the need for service work that exists.
I would love to see a mass movement led by yogis across the world that shifts our focus from just working on ourselves to seeking avenues with which we can work to heal our world and all who travel on it with us. Some actions that are happening now that attempt to do this are events such as the Global Mala, and fundraising activities for nonprofits such as Yoga-a-thons. However even these activities are limited in what they can do, because while they provide issue-awareness, fundraising, and a way for people to connect to a cause, my experience is that they don't always spur long-term action in the community. Perhaps organizers of such events could inspire more long term action--such as having representatives from the local peace group present to sign people up for continued action and to inform people of tangible steps they can take to make change happen now. However, I feel that what currently happens is that these types of events only serve to function as superficial actions - making us feel like we're doing something but in reality we're really just putting on a show that makes us feel good but does nothing to advance the very cause we set out to help.
If we re-frame our actions, our focus could be on choosing an issue that we can work on long-term LOCALLY (think globally, act locally). If actions like yoga-a-thon can channel people into tangible social movements for justice - then great! But if not, let's stop doing them and instead create pathways for our yoga studios and communities to advance a LOCAL cause for long-term good. Just throwing our money at an issue is not going to create the kind of deep systemic change that we need. Most of the issues of our time that we are facing off against will find our "enemies" out- funding us anyway. The one thing we DO have that can turn the tides is the potential for mass people power to fuel a local action-oriented revolution and we must begin now to find ways to channel that resource!
You may not be a part of yoga or spiritual center that already has a culture of service to the community but that doesn't mean you can't be a part of creating it. I had a teacher once who at every class brought vegan treats to share at the end of class and who shared vegan recipes with her students. She also planned service trips and events at least once a month for her students and eventually created a culture of service through her efforts. If you teach your students there is more to yoga than what is on the mat, they will learn it just like they learn how to do down dog. Remember we are all responsible for creating a new world. Peaceful and just communities don't just show up--they are built one conversation and one relationship at a time.
If you are a student and there is not a community driven focus at your studio, then ask to meet with the owner to discuss the potential to have such events. Sometimes the only thing lacking is someone willing to take on such projects. Remember too, that these things can start off small and then grow over time into much larger events and projects. I recommend just sticking to one issue at first and seeing how deep you can go with it. People want to be able to get a sense that their work is contributing to lasting change and that can be hard to offer when the energy of the group is diluted and working on multiple projects and issues.
It can become overwhelming to choose just one issue to work on - especially with the apparent mess we are in, but that is all the more reason to choose. Don't let the act of choosing paralyze you into non-action. What you put your energy into does matter. If you are meditating and doing a spiritual practice and think that is all you have to do to make the world a better place you are only working with half of the equation. I am a big fan of the AA quote "It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking then it is to think your way into a new way of acting". So no matter what our reason for action, action is in many cases the path that will take us where we need to be. And by giving of yourself in service to the world, you will find yourself in every interaction closer to the truths you have been seeking on the mat or the cushion.
I feel that the beauty of our work on the mat is that it creates the conditions for us to become powerful change agents capable of performing greater acts of compassion and love than what we could do without the knowledge and strength we have tapped into through practice. A favorite quote of mine from Albert Einstein speaks to this quite poetically: “The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.”
Not only can we bring a larger perspective to the issues of our times but we have within our tool box a practice that renews us and allows us to recharge and come back to do social change work without depleting ourselves, which too often happens. When we are depleted and burnt out the work is uninspiring and the issues at hand become too daunting.
I have many friends engaged in service who all too often get down and believe that they are not doing enough. I can only hold space and bear witness to their feelings of being overwhelmed, while providing encouragement that every little bit helps. I have a friend who runs a goat rescue (on top of her own photography business and faculty position at a community college) who has often asked if what she is doing matters and my reply was that it does to the more than 800 goats that she has provided sanctuary for. Not only have the goats benefited, but countless others whose lives have been enriched because they have volunteered with the rescue and those who have allowed a new creature into their lives. On one occasion when I was at the rescue I bore witness to one of the goats dying, a new one who had only been there for ten days. The situation felt pretty helpless and futile and brought up some of the doubts my friend had been feeling. Even in this case I argue that her efforts for that goat were worth it, for in that ten days that the goat was in her care it received more love, attention, and care than in any time of its life and that is what counts. Anything we do that extends compassion, care, and grace into the world is what takes us closer to living in a world that reflects the greatest expression of our heart's potential. Love is fuel for humanity's spiritual evolution--thankfully it is renewable and potentially available in mass quantities.
I leave you this quote by John Robbins:
"The choices that we make today as to the way we treat each other, the way we raise our children, the kinds of families and communities we create, will determine how the future unfolds. If we treat each other one way, we can cultivate people driven by a death urge, who are despondent and mean. If we treat each other another way, if we encourage and uphold our essential goodness and capacity for loving connection, we can nurture a society of people who are healthy and whole and whose lives will bring healing, peace, and joy to those they touch.
I believe that the real news on this planet is love—why it exists, where it came from, and where it is going. I believe that ultimately it is the love in our lives that underlies and makes possible our greatest healing and longevity.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have a choice to be either accomplices in the status quo or everyday revolutionaries. We have a choice whether to succumb to the cultural trance, eat fast food, and race by each other in the night, or to build lives of caring, substance, and healing. So much depends on that choice."
My friends, as 2010 is upon us, I encourage you to dig deep within yourself and commit this year to service. I have a feeling the world is going to need all you can give!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The sweetness of life
There is a story of a woman who is being chased by tigers. She is running as fast as she can, trying to escape the deathly interaction with these ferocious beasts. She arrives to the edge of a cliff and the tigers are quickly approaching. She has no choice but to climb down the edge of the cliff—or face certain doom. As she leaps she grabs onto a vine, and yet she still hears the tigers that she thought she had out smarted. She looks down and sees many more tigers down below her. As she grabs more tightly to the rope she looks up and sees that the tigers above have caught back up to her swatting their paws in hunger in her direction. The tigers above and below are relentless and determined for certain victory. As she grips with (literally) all that is happening she notices a mouse gnawing away at the vine she is holding and seeing that he is only moments before eating all the way through the vine. Out of the corner of her eye she sees to her side a patch of green and a juicy sweet strawberry within reach. She looks up, she looks down, she looks at the mouse, and reaches for sweet delight and eats the strawberry enjoying it thoroughly. —My adaptation of an old eastern tale
Life is so vast and complex from moment to moment. Challenges arise within us and around us all the time and yet we are to live our life in the face of all of these experiences. We are asked to live bravely and couragously in the midst of all that comes our way. The root of courage, cour, means heart—and so we are asked to climb and navigate the mountains of life from our heart.
There will always be lions chasing us (challenges) there will always be the vine (security, attachments) that we think we can hold onto and the reminder (mouse) that we cannot hold onto anything. Most importantly there is love (the strawberry) always within reach and there to keep enough sweetness present to ground us, heal us, and keep us fresh and awake in our lives.
It is this sweetness that allows us to persevere and to step into life boldly knowing that it is why we are here. Life is sweet and precious and we must continue to light a path for ourselves and all others who wish to find and taste the sweetness.
God has written a thousand promises all over your heart
That say, Life, life, life is far too sacred to ever end.--Rumi
Life is so vast and complex from moment to moment. Challenges arise within us and around us all the time and yet we are to live our life in the face of all of these experiences. We are asked to live bravely and couragously in the midst of all that comes our way. The root of courage, cour, means heart—and so we are asked to climb and navigate the mountains of life from our heart.
There will always be lions chasing us (challenges) there will always be the vine (security, attachments) that we think we can hold onto and the reminder (mouse) that we cannot hold onto anything. Most importantly there is love (the strawberry) always within reach and there to keep enough sweetness present to ground us, heal us, and keep us fresh and awake in our lives.
It is this sweetness that allows us to persevere and to step into life boldly knowing that it is why we are here. Life is sweet and precious and we must continue to light a path for ourselves and all others who wish to find and taste the sweetness.
God has written a thousand promises all over your heart
That say, Life, life, life is far too sacred to ever end.--Rumi
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Lotus Within-Out of the mud and into the light
Make friends with your breath, make friends with your body. Little by little by little, make friends with what's arising. Keep the awareness intense and a little more intense. And pretty soon, by familiarity, fear retreats.-- Norman Fischer
The journey into inspired living and open hearted awareness is one that can be filled with challenges. As soon as we have our sights set on living a life of love and care, we come face to face with the heaviness of the mud that has been covering us for so long. Often times, we allow ourselves to get dragged back down by the weight of the mud, which prevents us from the fullest blossom of beauty that we could be. We must learn to go deep and practice creating space with our “stuff” and from the spaciousness, arise like the lotus flower, out of the mud and into the light.
Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.- Joseph Campbell
The deeper we get on our journey the more muddy we realize we are. What’s even more fascinating is that just as we arrive at the moment where we think we are about to bloom and feel the light of the sun soak our petals, we fall face first back into the pool of mud because the touch of the first ray is so foreign, and while the mud is dirty it appears to be more comfortable than the embrace of the sun's rays.
I compare this experience to experiments that have been done with animals in captivity, who after being tortured into staying in their cages, when they try to leave, no longer try to leave because even though they are free now, they have been conditioned to believe that trying is futile (or worse will lead to torture).
Sometimes we don’t blossom, quite frankly, because we have forgotten the will and the power to bloom. Sometimes the mud, while disgusting, is still more comfortable than the uncertainty of the light.
It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.~Joseph Campbell
When we are ready to make the courageous choice to open to the light and affirm it as our life giving energy that feeds us so that we may feed it right back we then open to the treasure and gift of life. It is because we have been so muddy and have been weighed down by the dark that we can with strength and radiance shine out with beauty.
Those who have dealt with dark yet have chosen the light have a depth and truth about them that cannot be mistaken. Those who constantly go to the well of love to quench their thirst have a fountain within themselves from which others may drink freely. We must remember we are not born a blossomed lotus, but that we grow into it and we must pass through the mud to get there.
Knowing this how do we uncover the mud? Quite simply we feel it and then from noticing it, quite literally shake it off. It can only be shaken off while it’s still wet though—if we let the mud dry up and harden it remains with us.
Eckhart Tolle’s, "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose" tells a story of the Duck with the Human Mind. He observes that after two ducks get into a fight, which never lasts long, they will separate and float off in opposite directions. Then each duck will flap its wings vigorously a few times, thus releasing the surplus energy that built up during the fight. After they flap their wings, they float on peacefully, as if nothing had ever happened.
He points out that if the duck had a human mind, it would keep the fight alive by thinking, by story-making. This would probably be the duck’s story: "I don’t believe what he just did. He came to within five inches of me. He thinks he owns this pond. He has no consideration for my private space. I’m not going to stand for this. I’ll teach him a lesson he won’t forget. And on and on."
So literally like a duck we must shake the mud off us before it hardens into the never ending story. Whether it’s an external fight, or and internal fight—mud is mud—energy is energy—shake it off and shake it loose—and move on.
May you bloom beautifully!
Transition
It's amazing to me how quickly bad habits and behaviors can quickly slip back into everyday usage if we are not paying attention. The good news for me is that I have recognized my own slippage and am fully committed to bringing myself back on track. As I began my new job just over a month ago, I came in full of hope and excitement about contributing my talents to an organization that I thought was doing good for the local community, and the world. Within a week I quickly learned that the organization had some quirks and conflicts, and I chose to remain neutral and observe before reacting in any way. Then at about my two week mark, I chose sides completely missing an opportunity to bring peace, reconciliation, and love--of which I now commit to bringing again.
Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one. --Marianne Williamson
This is always a comfort to me, and is something I think we all need to deeply understand. Whatever is lacking in any situation is what we are not personally willing to give. That is a deep metaphysical truth. We can always use the excuse-- "But they won't let me shine" which comes in many forms, yet it is truly our own lack of clarity and commitment that dims our light. No one else can take anything from you without your permission. If we are committed to a life of love and compassion then the only way to experience it is to live it in every moment. As we live it, it is reflected back to us in every interaction. This is where it can get tricky. If you are walking into a situation such as the one I recently walked into, where love and compassion are lacking, then what is reflected is the call to love. In fact there could be hostility, fear, manipulation, and everything unloving and evil that you can think of. The task then is not to respond from the place of attack, but to dig deeper and remember that love first must meet everything unloving and unjust in order to fully know itself as love. How deep would it be to say we are loving people and live a life in which you never faced off with the cold dark piercing gaze of evil looking you square in the eyes? Love that has faced off against and touched the dark is way more powerful than an empty conviction. The empty conviction quickly flees when the evil strikes, the love that has rooted it's heels down and met evil's glance with grace, is the love that transforms fear, through divine alchemy, into love.
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. Carl Jung
So I must move forward, and we all must move forward, remembering not to meet dark with dark (although that seems like the easiest thing to do) but remember that all forms of attack are a call to love and that if we are committed to love--then that act of commitment is met with a universal challenge. If you commit to love the universe will put you face to face to with all that is unloving--so that you can help love spread on this planet and forever remove the stale dark force of fear.
I extend my love and gratitude to all of you! Love fiercely and deeply!
Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one. --Marianne Williamson
This is always a comfort to me, and is something I think we all need to deeply understand. Whatever is lacking in any situation is what we are not personally willing to give. That is a deep metaphysical truth. We can always use the excuse-- "But they won't let me shine" which comes in many forms, yet it is truly our own lack of clarity and commitment that dims our light. No one else can take anything from you without your permission. If we are committed to a life of love and compassion then the only way to experience it is to live it in every moment. As we live it, it is reflected back to us in every interaction. This is where it can get tricky. If you are walking into a situation such as the one I recently walked into, where love and compassion are lacking, then what is reflected is the call to love. In fact there could be hostility, fear, manipulation, and everything unloving and evil that you can think of. The task then is not to respond from the place of attack, but to dig deeper and remember that love first must meet everything unloving and unjust in order to fully know itself as love. How deep would it be to say we are loving people and live a life in which you never faced off with the cold dark piercing gaze of evil looking you square in the eyes? Love that has faced off against and touched the dark is way more powerful than an empty conviction. The empty conviction quickly flees when the evil strikes, the love that has rooted it's heels down and met evil's glance with grace, is the love that transforms fear, through divine alchemy, into love.
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. Carl Jung
So I must move forward, and we all must move forward, remembering not to meet dark with dark (although that seems like the easiest thing to do) but remember that all forms of attack are a call to love and that if we are committed to love--then that act of commitment is met with a universal challenge. If you commit to love the universe will put you face to face to with all that is unloving--so that you can help love spread on this planet and forever remove the stale dark force of fear.
I extend my love and gratitude to all of you! Love fiercely and deeply!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Loving What Is
“Through practice, I’ve come to see that the deepest source of my misery is not wanting things to be the way they are. Not wanting myself to be the way I am. Not wanting the world to be the way it is. Not wanting others to be the way they are. Whenever I’m suffering, I find this ‘war with reality’ to be at the heart of the problem.” Stephen Cope
Making peace with our practice is one of the most challenging aspects of physical yoga. If we approach yoga with the premise that we are not already whole as we are, we run the risk of doing more harm than good. If there is even a hint of aggression based in a desire to overcome what we cannot accept, we run the risk of forcing or controlling to achieve a goal, rather than being with and allowing the journey to unfold in peaceful and loving ways.
This idea runs counter to the cultural programming we are bombarded with daily. While we have tremendous freedom in this country, we relinquish a piece of it with our obsession with consumption. Capitalism itself is not to blame. But when the common good is eclipsed by the desire for the dollar, the system becomes the problem. Capitalism gone bad successfully convinces us we are not happy or whole in order to sell its products. In order to be, we have to have, and in order to matter, we must consume.
Nowhere is this tactic more convincing than in the health and beauty market. There assumption is that there is always a way to improve your diet and to "look your best." We're constantly introduced to new fitness trends that make unattainable promises. “Want to get rid of your wrinkles?—here’s a new cream." Advertising preys on our insecurities and our fears of aging. Name the fear and this multi-billion dollar industry has the remedy. Many of us buy into the myths and the stories of how we are “supposed to be” and in weaker moments of self-delusion, gladly consume these products without question.
The practice of yoga can begin to chip away at these stories and reveal a deeper essence - something that exists beyond the control of the advertising industry. As we shed the layers of misinformation and misidentification we are brought closer to the revelation that sits at our core - and the true self that resides there. The truth is that we do not need anything external to define what happiness or beauty means—happiness and beauty are available to us free of charge. Any authentic expression of happiness and beauty first came from within— it has never been the other way around.
Certainly external sources can enhance life experiences, but only if they accentuate the deep reservoir of unshakable truth that where we are, who we are, and what we are, is good. A practice born from the truth that we are intrinsically good takes flight, where one based on fear or hatred towards the body or life itself, can only crash and burn.
Most injuries in yoga, from my experience, take one of the following forms:
The practice of trying to achieve something before we are truly ready (because we feel it has to be a certain way)
Rushing to catch up with others when our pace is really slower
Becoming angry and frustrated and losing our breath and focus
Coming out of a pose too quickly, thereby losing our concentration and connection with the alchemical process
Each of these demonstrates a misplaced purpose of practice, often with aggression the pesky epicenter.
As you deepen your practice, or if even you’re new, check in and discover what your motivation for practice really is. Do you think that who are in this moment is sufficient? Can you love “what is” about your weight, your body, your life? Whatever your answer, this is good work, because the yoga, the movement towards life, demands that you love what is, exactly AS it is. It is only then that true alchemy - change and transformation - can occur. If we choose to practice without such awareness, we will have experiences that keep digging up more of what is buried, until we work with it and come to acceptance. We need this experience to truly rise and grow.
My own experience may illuminate this. Through my practice, often revealed during the simple direct moments of physical yoga, I became aware of some internalized core values that were based on input from outside myself. I realized that I had based my own worth as a human on things I had learned to believe about myself based on the childhood messages I picked up from peers, family, and religion. To this day as I come to greater acceptance of who I am—I bump up against these messages of fear, hate, and disdain towards myself and about myself. Every time I get conscious of one of these old messages I try to love them and accept them. And the miracle is that as I do, they disappear. I have to maintain a constant state of vigilance or the negative thoughts plant new seeds that grow into dark realities of self loathing. The sweetest moments in my life have been the moments from which I have consciously shifted from fear to love and remembered who I am by letting go of who I am not. There is nothing in me that can be held back or limited in any way if I remember that my truest source of life is love and that this supply of love is unlimited, vast, and eternal. While the vessels of love may change, love never does.
Loving what is paves a pathway for loving action. Loving action provides the gateway for evolution. We cannot grow until we accept. We cannot move on until we work with what is. The sickness on this planet right now and the preoccupation with what we don’t have, and who we are not, saddens me. We could be agents of celebration and poets of praise for how much we do have and how great we really are. We could learn the truth that we are miracles unfolding into more miracles.
So what can we do practically to achieve this understanding? I suggest beginning each day with an affirmation. Choose anything that affirms your inherent worth simply because you are. Be creative, but don't worry about getting it "right." Here is a mantra that may get you started: “Sat Nam,” which simply means “I am truth”.
Yoga teachings can seem to send out mixed messages. On one hand we learn about the transformative powers of practice—then on the other hand, we learn about acceptance and loving what is. The truth, like all things, is multi-faceted. What yoga is asking of us is to open to life, whereas so many of us are trapped in a cycle of death and attention to what is wrong or bad. When I speak of change or transformation I'm speaking of the return to a state of oneness. Yoga invites us into this awareness, this very real state of consciousness. In reality we advocate acceptance so that there is space to glimpse essence. Once we are conscious of our deeper essence, we can open to the transformational processes of spirit which may lead us back the oneness from which everything occurs. When we find ourselves in that familiar place, where we push and tug, trying to force ourselves to change, we must remember that we can't get to that enlightening state of oneness through force, control, or aggression. By its very nature, the doorway to enlightenment can only be entered by allowing ourselves to be a vessel in which life moves through without obstruction.
I am reminded of the quote “Just as the caterpillar thought the world was ending it turned into a butterfly”. The cycle of life and our acceptance of it, paves the way for transformation. We ride on the waves of life movements and we become conscious navigators of life’s flow.
Then it’s not about trying to be, but simply about being.
“These days, my practice is teaching me to embrace imperfection: to have compassion for all the ways things haven’t turned out as I planned, in my body and in my life – for the ways things keep falling apart, and failing, and breaking down. It’s less about fixing things, and more about learning to be present for exactly what is.” Anne Cushman
Making peace with our practice is one of the most challenging aspects of physical yoga. If we approach yoga with the premise that we are not already whole as we are, we run the risk of doing more harm than good. If there is even a hint of aggression based in a desire to overcome what we cannot accept, we run the risk of forcing or controlling to achieve a goal, rather than being with and allowing the journey to unfold in peaceful and loving ways.
This idea runs counter to the cultural programming we are bombarded with daily. While we have tremendous freedom in this country, we relinquish a piece of it with our obsession with consumption. Capitalism itself is not to blame. But when the common good is eclipsed by the desire for the dollar, the system becomes the problem. Capitalism gone bad successfully convinces us we are not happy or whole in order to sell its products. In order to be, we have to have, and in order to matter, we must consume.
Nowhere is this tactic more convincing than in the health and beauty market. There assumption is that there is always a way to improve your diet and to "look your best." We're constantly introduced to new fitness trends that make unattainable promises. “Want to get rid of your wrinkles?—here’s a new cream." Advertising preys on our insecurities and our fears of aging. Name the fear and this multi-billion dollar industry has the remedy. Many of us buy into the myths and the stories of how we are “supposed to be” and in weaker moments of self-delusion, gladly consume these products without question.
The practice of yoga can begin to chip away at these stories and reveal a deeper essence - something that exists beyond the control of the advertising industry. As we shed the layers of misinformation and misidentification we are brought closer to the revelation that sits at our core - and the true self that resides there. The truth is that we do not need anything external to define what happiness or beauty means—happiness and beauty are available to us free of charge. Any authentic expression of happiness and beauty first came from within— it has never been the other way around.
Certainly external sources can enhance life experiences, but only if they accentuate the deep reservoir of unshakable truth that where we are, who we are, and what we are, is good. A practice born from the truth that we are intrinsically good takes flight, where one based on fear or hatred towards the body or life itself, can only crash and burn.
Most injuries in yoga, from my experience, take one of the following forms:
The practice of trying to achieve something before we are truly ready (because we feel it has to be a certain way)
Rushing to catch up with others when our pace is really slower
Becoming angry and frustrated and losing our breath and focus
Coming out of a pose too quickly, thereby losing our concentration and connection with the alchemical process
Each of these demonstrates a misplaced purpose of practice, often with aggression the pesky epicenter.
As you deepen your practice, or if even you’re new, check in and discover what your motivation for practice really is. Do you think that who are in this moment is sufficient? Can you love “what is” about your weight, your body, your life? Whatever your answer, this is good work, because the yoga, the movement towards life, demands that you love what is, exactly AS it is. It is only then that true alchemy - change and transformation - can occur. If we choose to practice without such awareness, we will have experiences that keep digging up more of what is buried, until we work with it and come to acceptance. We need this experience to truly rise and grow.
My own experience may illuminate this. Through my practice, often revealed during the simple direct moments of physical yoga, I became aware of some internalized core values that were based on input from outside myself. I realized that I had based my own worth as a human on things I had learned to believe about myself based on the childhood messages I picked up from peers, family, and religion. To this day as I come to greater acceptance of who I am—I bump up against these messages of fear, hate, and disdain towards myself and about myself. Every time I get conscious of one of these old messages I try to love them and accept them. And the miracle is that as I do, they disappear. I have to maintain a constant state of vigilance or the negative thoughts plant new seeds that grow into dark realities of self loathing. The sweetest moments in my life have been the moments from which I have consciously shifted from fear to love and remembered who I am by letting go of who I am not. There is nothing in me that can be held back or limited in any way if I remember that my truest source of life is love and that this supply of love is unlimited, vast, and eternal. While the vessels of love may change, love never does.
Loving what is paves a pathway for loving action. Loving action provides the gateway for evolution. We cannot grow until we accept. We cannot move on until we work with what is. The sickness on this planet right now and the preoccupation with what we don’t have, and who we are not, saddens me. We could be agents of celebration and poets of praise for how much we do have and how great we really are. We could learn the truth that we are miracles unfolding into more miracles.
So what can we do practically to achieve this understanding? I suggest beginning each day with an affirmation. Choose anything that affirms your inherent worth simply because you are. Be creative, but don't worry about getting it "right." Here is a mantra that may get you started: “Sat Nam,” which simply means “I am truth”.
Yoga teachings can seem to send out mixed messages. On one hand we learn about the transformative powers of practice—then on the other hand, we learn about acceptance and loving what is. The truth, like all things, is multi-faceted. What yoga is asking of us is to open to life, whereas so many of us are trapped in a cycle of death and attention to what is wrong or bad. When I speak of change or transformation I'm speaking of the return to a state of oneness. Yoga invites us into this awareness, this very real state of consciousness. In reality we advocate acceptance so that there is space to glimpse essence. Once we are conscious of our deeper essence, we can open to the transformational processes of spirit which may lead us back the oneness from which everything occurs. When we find ourselves in that familiar place, where we push and tug, trying to force ourselves to change, we must remember that we can't get to that enlightening state of oneness through force, control, or aggression. By its very nature, the doorway to enlightenment can only be entered by allowing ourselves to be a vessel in which life moves through without obstruction.
I am reminded of the quote “Just as the caterpillar thought the world was ending it turned into a butterfly”. The cycle of life and our acceptance of it, paves the way for transformation. We ride on the waves of life movements and we become conscious navigators of life’s flow.
Then it’s not about trying to be, but simply about being.
“These days, my practice is teaching me to embrace imperfection: to have compassion for all the ways things haven’t turned out as I planned, in my body and in my life – for the ways things keep falling apart, and failing, and breaking down. It’s less about fixing things, and more about learning to be present for exactly what is.” Anne Cushman
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